


there's a room where light won't find you

by niwry



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Internalized Homophobia, M/M, rating mostly for language
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-10
Updated: 2016-04-10
Packaged: 2018-06-01 12:53:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,298
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6520555
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/niwry/pseuds/niwry
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In some way he is an unstoppable force, but Wakatoshi is an immovable object</p>
            </blockquote>





	there's a room where light won't find you

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote it in one day because at 8am i sudenly decided to go deep into rare ships hell 
> 
> and yeah tendou is dyeing his hair because shrug emoji 
> 
> ALSO! english is not my first language so please exuse any awful grammar mistakes haaa.

monster

Pronunciation: /ˈmɒnstə/

NOUN

 

1 A large, ugly, and frightening imaginary creature.

 

1.1 An inhumanly cruel or wicked person.

 

 

Satori Tendou always heard that he is a monster.

Kids looked at his weird eyes, big teeth and body that did not fit his head and they called him a monster.

 

_disgusting_

_i'm disgusting_

 

He looked at himself, trying to ignore thoughts in his head, but he couldn't. He looked at himself in the mirror, he saw his weird eyes, body that's now fits his head better but he didn't care. He looked at himself in the mirror and he pretended that he doesn't think about Wakatoshi Ushijima.   
  
_disgusting_

_i'm disgusting_

 

 

It started normal, high school started, Shiratorizawa seemed to be the best choice and he got into volleyball team without a problem thanks to his blocks.

There was the almighty Ushijima, already knowing he will be the ace, sitting alone, not bothering to interact with other first years.

Tendou did the only logical thing. He came to Wakatoshi and put his arm around him.   
“Hi, nice to meet you” _I won't let you be alone_ “I'm Satori Tendou, you must be the miracle boy?”

He smiled with his mouth closed, he heard that he looks like a creep when he shows his teeth.

 

 

Wakatoshi Ushijima is an unstoppable force on the court, he's a tsunami, an earthquake and other things human cannot possibly stop. Tendou's whole body was shaking and he was yelling, cheering for every spike Ushijima did.

 

_You really are a miracle boy_

 

 

Tendou kept trying to talk to Ushijima, he always heard that he do more babbling than talking, that he should at least try to think before opening his mouth.   
Ushijima seemed to not care about that, in better words, he seemed not to care at all that Tendou talks to him. He accepted that.

 

 

After few months, to other it may still look like Ushijima doesn't care, but Tendou sees a difference. He sees that Ushijima waits with opening his lunch until Satori comes to classroom, he sees that Ushijima remembers names of characters in mangas that Tendou is currently reading, he sees that Ushijma says “yes” and “correct” when he could just nod his head, like always.

  
  
Satori Tendou is a scientist who gets to study natural disasters up close, on a court he can see its destructive power at its finest, but outside, oh boy, outside of the court is sometimes even better. He gets to see calm sea just before the storm, large, powerful but silent.

Satori Tendou wants to be _destroyed_ by that sea.

 

 

Satori Tendou wants to destroy himself.   
It's summer of their first year and nights are hot and he sleeps with his window opened. He can hear frogs, bugs and stray cats wondering though streets of his town.

 

His hand is in his boxers, because he is a teenage boy, but he cannot erase image of Ushijima from his mind.

And what's even worse it doesn't make him go 'blehh' or 'what the fuck @brain'

 

It's just there and he wants to destroy himself because he's a disgusting monster.

 

 

Tendou still cheers for his team, he still cheers for _Wakatoshi_ (he doesn't remember when he started using his first name). He jumps, he yells, he tells awful puns hoping people will laugh at them. His body shakes, he talks too much and he plays volleyball the best he can.   
  
In some way he is an unstoppable force, but Wakatoshi is an immovable object.

 

 

He smiles with his mouth open now, he dyed his hair red and started styling it. His body shakes constantly but he has learned to ignore it. If he works hard enough he can function like a _normal_ human being.

 

 

Satori Tendou is a middle blocker, he's the first line of defense. He knocks the ball down, smiling in victory.   
Just like in volleyball, in life he blocks everything that's wrong, he _knocks it_ down and doesn't even look at it after.

 

 

_Who gives you the right_

Wakatoshi is there, smiling at his pun

_Who gives you the right to have a fucking dimple_

 

Sea looks warm, friendly to make you trust it, but the very second you do – it will destroy you.   
Satori Tendou wants to be _destroyed_ by that sea.

 

They're sitting in Ushijima's classroom, eating lunch and Wakatoshi is smiling and Tendou wants to die.

He made an awful pun in which he used two different funny voices, and that seemed to break Ushijima's resting face and release small dimple in his right cheek.

 

_Who gave you rights to smile like that, to look like that, who the f u c k_

 

 

Satori takes cold shower, he bites on his lips and tries not to accidentally look in the mirror.   
_Disgustingdisgustingdisgustingdisgustingdisgustingdisgustingdisgustingdisgustingdisgusting_

 

_It's normal_ he lays in bad, looking bluntly at ceiling _as a teenager it's normal to confuse admiration to someone with having a crush_

 

_You're just in a big need of a girlfriend._

 

_He's a fucking robot, why would you even consider having feelings for him?_

 

 

They've won practice match with really strong school, on one hand it seemed that nobody expected otherwise but on other it's still a _victory._ Wakatoshi spiked final point and Tendou as always yelled on top of his lunges “MIRACLE BOY!”

Without thinking he went to give their ace a hug. Ushijima didn't mind it, he just stud there looking at other team. He gently touched Tendou's arm.

 

 

_Disgusting monster_

He feels like vomiting. He takes a cold shower, he doesn't look in a mirror and he lays in bed without covers.

 

 

Kids always called him a monster. He had weird eyes, head way too big for his body and teeth like a bunny. He seemed to be too intense sometimes, too loud and he didn't think much before doing anything. He was too _intuitive_ with everything he did.

 

His intuition was screaming when he get up from his bed, but he ignored it.

 

It was almost 1am when he started climbing to Wakatoshi's window. The light is on, he's not sure if it makes him calmer or more worried.

Ushijima says nothing when he opens his window and let Satori in, he just sits on his bed again without changing his expression.

 

Satori Tendou does something without thinking, what's very much in his style.   
Satori Tendou does something against his intuition, which is not very much in his style.   
  
He's fast because he knows he has only few seconds.   
He sits on Wakatoshi's lap, kissing as intense as he can, rocking his hips back and foreword because he has only few second before the world will fall in to pieces, so he will get as much as he possibly _can._

Because in few seconds Wakatoshi Ushijima will start to hate him, because in few seconds he will be exiled from this town by himself, because maybe not in few second, but in few hours he will need to move to other place, or go to closest sea and drown in it.   
He feels like crying from the very moment he entered through the window, or maybe from the very moment he took that first cold shower, or from the very moment he decided to be friends with this boy, or from the very moment he heard other kids calling him a 'monster'.

 

_disgusting_

 

After few second world is still whole, but Satori Tendou is falling apart. He's in middle of a tsunami, a hurricane, an earthquake, _all of them_ in the same time.   
He's just a human against unstoppable force of nature, _he is_ a force that people believed to be unstoppable but he just met an immovable object and he crushed painfully.

Because after few seconds, Wakatoshi Ushijima kissed him back.

**Author's Note:**

> lmao 
> 
> im niwry @ tumblr


End file.
